If the Queen Had Balls

 


1978

Dad took me to the third game of the World Series at Yankee Stadium. The Dodgers were up in the series, leading two  games to nothing, and game three was a “must win” for the Bronx Bombers. The Yanks were behind  1-0 in a third inning and the Dodgers had runners on first and second with one out.

We were sitting in the second tier, third base line. I was staring directly at my favorite player, Greg Nettles, the third baseman. Thurman Munson was standing behind home plate shouting something to him. Lucky for us, Ron Guidry was on the mound. 

One pitch later Steve Garvey hit a rocket down the third-base line which Netttles speared, fired to Roy White at second base who in turn threw to first to complete the double play. Inning over, and the Yanks were out of the jam. I remember turning to dad.

“If Greg had not made that play it  might have meant  multiple more runs for the Dodgers, and the Yanks would’ve been a deep hole, and if they lose the game they probably will lose the World Series.”

Dad looked down and gave me a wide grin.

“If the Queen had balls, she’d be the King.”

Now that I am an adult I think of that phrase. A lot. Simple and somewhat crude (and not very PC), but sooo on the money. Life unfolds as it unfolds? If I only hadn’t drank to excess that fateful day over four years ago. If only I didn’t drink at all. If only I had taken AA meetings more seriously before my Implosion Day. 

None of this matters of course, because that’s not what happened. Acceptance of the reality is key. The Queen does not have balls; therefore she is not the King.

I live each version of a day God hands to me. That’s the only way I can do it. Good day, bad day, strange day, vanilla day....I need to live my life without the “what if‘s,” without the “if only’s”.

The best means I find to avoid the “if only” pattern of thinking is to form my gratitude list. Every single day. And remember four basic principles of daily living:

1. Accept what exists in the now because it could change tomorrow

2. Have gratitude what is in the now because it could change tomorrow

3. Assume nothing 

4. Judge nobody

The Yankees beat the Dodgers in the 1978 World Series, four games to two. Countering that wonderful memory, in that same year, my mother and stepdad gave me a jacket with  a big picture of Superman on the back, which I was teased mercilessly over by the kids at school. They cruelly mocked me wearing it on the bus,  and pushed me around on the playground. I desperately and unsuccessfully tried to hide it, and I knew how much trouble I would get in back home if I refused to wear it or “lost” it. For every jubilant memory, a painful and humiliating  one. 

I can’t undo those memories but I can use them to grow up. It couldn’t be any other way. 

All hail the Queen.

JD



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