Whiskey on the Walls


Alcoholics in long-term recovery maintain a keen awareness  of any booze in our immediate vicinity. Whether sober a week or twenty years, we keep a heightened sensitivity to its presence in a room. So when my hospital chose to line the hallways with it, needless to say the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

These days hand sanitizer has become as ubiquitous as cellphones, face masks, and Bradley Cooper; you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a dispenser. Companies simply cannot keep up with the demand. This being the case, a local valley distillery came up with the brilliant idea to temporarily convert its operations from whiskey to full-time sanitizer production, and began to supply local medical facilities. My hospital has been buying the stuff in bulk, restocking its depleted stores,  and filling all its dispensers with it.

Here's the problem. Distilleries using equipment which had been continuously producing hard liquor for years can't magically convert over to making medical ethanol without the side effect of contamination from the prior product. As a result, all the sanitizer they supply is laced with whatever distllate had been previously produced. Buy hey- it kills COVID, so what's the biggie?

The whole fucking emergency department reeks of bourbon- THAT'S the biggie. I feel like I'm treating patients in a goddamn whiskey bar. Serenity now!

Yeah, I've got my own stash of chlorhexidine by my workstation so I can remain alcohol-free. But ya know what? Immediately after running a code blue, or even if  I just  had my finger up a patient's ass, I would prefer not to have to traverse the entire department to wash up. So I douse with bourbon-infused dispenser within arm’s reach, then quickly locate the nearest sink for a soap and water rinse.  Trust me, it takes some to get the bourbon smell off.

Welcome to Moonshiner's Emergency Department...where it's never last call!






Comments

  1. The MomJune 5, 2020 at 9:36 AM

    I was there today and told Henry, "look at this...smells like bourbon". While I appreciate the sentiment, I have some difficulty with it knowing some will suffer .

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 12, 2020 at 7:06 AM

    I am 120 days into my recovery. Our local distilleries made vodka. At least the one where we got our hand sanitizer did. I know this because every time I would use it I would be assaulted by the distinct smell. I'm glad I didn't have to work around the smell constantly! And as soon as I could find something else I bought that instead! A LOT of it!
    I'm enjoying your writing! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete

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